Pause, Rest and Give Thanks

We all need it

Light chatter and soft music surround me as I sit in the KLM lounge in Amsterdam’s Schiphol airport. It’s been hard to sit down and write an update of my parallel life. The other life took over for a while with holiday baking and lino printing projects and a new medical diagnosis for my partner which has taken its own energy.

Before I ever knew I had cancer, we had booked a complete trip to Valencia and Girona, Spain with a few days in Paris at the end. Airline tickets, Airbnbs, train tickets, all ready to go. Our thinking was to take a late November/early December trip so we’d soak in some of the holiday lights, markets and festivities in some of our familiar haunts.

Once the diagnosis came down, from the get go, I asked each doctor, nurse practitioner, radiation assistant to mark off those days on the calendar, hoping we wouldn’t have to cancel.

With the news of no need for chemotherapy, it finally seemed that it would happen. My radiation team agreed to delay radiation treatment until my return. A few days after a check-in call with the radiation tech, I received thirty emails, each with an eight o’clock appointment for radiation. So as soon as I get back from this trip, I’ll be biking to my first radiation appointment before my first cup of coffee and after my dog walk.

My appointments are in European time now that I’m in Spain!

Before our departure, I decided to get everything squared up for my treatment. I visited the local bike shop and purchased lights for my bike and a helmet for my head. (Yes, I’m one of those who has ridden without a helmet for many years). I bought a tight fitting beanie hat and an extra pair of gloves. So I’m all set for my bike ride there and back.

I also now have two creams that I’ll use religiously after radiation to soothe and repair the skin that will be burned. And loose undershirts to allow my skin to breathe.

My hygienist gave me rinses for my mouth, in case I get dry mouth. And I have gum for possible sore throat and mouth.

All that’s left is a trial bike ride to the hospital using my new equipment and, since I have cancer treatment bills to pay there(!), I get myself geared up. It takes sixteen minutes door to door today.

Cold morning but I stayed warm

While, in some way, my cancer journey seems on hold, I still live each day with a different awareness of this life I’ve been given. I hope for the cancer to be completely removed but there is always the possibility of recurrence. In this time of thanksgiving, I feel gratitude for the gifts I’ve been given in this life and the richness of connection and community. Thanks to all of you who’ve shown kindness in myriads of ways.

View along the way

Now, all that remains is the unknown, that elusive part of any journey. But with my mornings planned for the next month and a half, I’m ready to leave town for a few weeks of relaxation and freedom from work and worries. I’ll meet you again on the other side.